"I am a Believer in Jesus Christ with free will and I CHOSE Intelligent Delegation (Surrender) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend false idols."
As a recreational drug user I chose the rewards of self-medication for three reasons: It started with Escape. As a teenager I escaped my anxiety with the quick fix or mood changer of alcohol. In my college years I added Improving my perceived intellect with psychedelics. In my successful professional life I added Enhancing my mood with recreational drugs. I was a weekend abuser and I felt I deserved my self-medication. Long story short, people change when they hurt enough and have to or when they learn enough and want to. I changed when God humbled me and I learned that I had lost my purpose in life. I changed when I realized that there is power in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). People overcome addiction out of purpose-based motivation -- they quit when they recognize how their habit violates WHO they were, WHAT they want to be, WHERE they want to go in life. A person's purpose and values are the main navigational tools in recovery from any hurt, habit or hang-up. Celebrate Recovery helped change my thinking and changed my life. We all have a global purpose. Finding that purpose, is what life is all about.
After 44 years of recreational weekend chemical abuse and a son who became a heroin addict and a wife that was overwhelmed, I surrendered my life to Christ. My inability to help my son, control my wife and the realization that I was helpless, trapped, lacking control and had no ostensible purpose, left me with one viable choice- ask God for help. I had nothing to lose an everything to gain. I decided to give it a try and gave God 100% (Mark 12:30). I spend a lifetime resisting surrender because I wanted to be in control. Surrender was capitulation, a weakness and meant I could not indulge in my weekend false idols. I found that God's grace was sufficient for me, for there is Power in Weakness. (2 Corinthians 12-9-10). Surrender starts with a simple yes or no choice, but is a lifelong process. In retrospect, I consider Surrender, "Intelligent Delegation," not a weakness. It can change your thinking and change your life if you allow it(Romans 12:2). If you choose to have a better life.
"I am a Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ with Free Will and I CHOSE Surrender (Intelligent Delegation) in my victory over, “Recreational Chemical Abuse, my weekend, "False Idols."